dirty rag

A Little Light Morning Reading - Bill Sandifer

The 'President' and Secretary of State chat over breakfast...

"Condi-Mondi, my little girl of the world, I'll miss ya next week. I know you're busy gettin' ready to leave and everything, but you always understand these things, so I kinda needed to talk to you."

"That's fine, bushy-mushy. You know I always have time for you."

"That's sweet, little Leezy. Makes me feel like I got a soft inside, a side I can't really show most folks, you know."

"What was your dream, honey?"

"I was in the desert, and the sand was squishin' between my toes, real hot, kinda like it is at the beach on a really hot day. I was tryin' to run, but it was slow-like, you know. Most times, when you dream like that, it's like you're bein' held back by mud or water or somethin'. But this was sand, hot sand."

"Uh, huh."

"And then the sand was covered with gooey stuff, kinda like those jelly globs at the beach. And then I realized I was steppin' on body parts, you know, arms, legs, and, well, private things. I tried not to step on 'em because they were squishy-like. Is this makin' sense, Nicey Ricey?"

"I'm listening, darlin'."

"But that sand was really hot, really burnin' my feet, and the body parts were cooler, and I figured out if I kept steppin' on 'em, I could walk easier without burnin' my toes. I didn't go barefoot much as a kid, Condi baby, and they're kinda tender, you know."

"I've always thought of you as tender, Georgie."

"That's sweet. Anyway, I was makin' some progress usin' those parts to cool my dogs, but then I started comin' up on whole bodies, and they were pilin' up, startin' to block my way. It was gettin' a little messy at this point.... Is this makin' any sense, Leezer Beezer?"

"Yes, dubby, I understand. Keep talking."

"I think I may've had an ephlipany."

"Epiphany, honey." "Yeah, one of those. I'm seein' the hot sand as kind of an opportunity, you know, kind of a day at the beach where anything is possible. But it's gettin' a little too hot for my dogs to take me where I want to go. I'm seein' the body parts as dumb Democrats, little islands, little oases, I can use as steppin' stones, kinda like wet sand at the beach feels good to step on."

"I've always said God made them for a reason, honey."

"What, islands?"

"No, sweety, Democrats."

"Oh yeah. I know you did, baby. That's why I like to talk to you about these things. You got perspection."

"Perspective, babe."

"Yeah, that. But anyway, I was doin' okay, even with the bodies pilin' up until those cool, squishy, body parts started pullin' themselves together and makin' whole bodies, addin' to the mess. And now they're not lookin' so much like useless pieces of tissue, Democrats, so much as well, people. It's gettin' a little spooky now 'cause I wouldn't ordinarily walk on dead bodies, you understand. But, I mean, this sand is really startin' to burn, babe ... bad."

"Hurtin' my baby's footsies?"

"Yeah, honey. It's startin' to sting. Well, some of the bodies are kinda splotchy green, and some of 'em are brown. I remember it was easier to step on the brown ones. Somethin' about those green ones was givin' me a little bit of the willies. Willies, heh-heh, starts with 'w' you know. Little joke there, Leezy-Teezy, heh-heh."

"Cute, dubby-wubby."

"Well, anyway, I've gotten as far as the opportunity thing, but I'm kinda stuck. The dream sorta trails off as I look up and see whole bunches of dunes ahead. I've been keepin' my head down, watchin' where I step so I can stay on course. But when I looked up, I saw bodies and dunes everywhere, and, well, I kinda lost my headin', didn't know which way I should be goin'. I mean, there was plenty of stuff to step on, but with it everywhere and all, it was hard to figure out where I was s'posed to go."

"Life can be messy like that, George."

"Jesus, that's a real embolism, isn't it?"

"Symbolism, George. Yes, I think it's symbolic."

"Condi, darlin'. You know I get edgy when you call me 'George'. Is there somethin' I need to know? You called me that twice. I'm startin' to get a bad feelin' about this dream thing. Maybe I'm not lookin' at it right. What d'ya think?"

"Tell you what, baby. Let me mull it over while I'm away. I'll be in a real sandy area, and I'll bet it'll become more clear then."

"Condi-Mondi, my little world hopper, I knew I could count on you. Don't burn those cute little toesies, now. Heh-heh."