dirty rag

Killing In The Name Of Christmas Environmentalism - Dan Dreifort

Millions of trees are cut each year in the name of Christ and Christmas trees. Additional thousands are rendered into pulp to make the 875 million holiday cards sold in the US annually.


Christmas trees - the Devil in disguise?!?

The almighty buck dictates this profane commercial tradition of death in the wily guise of Christianity. Or is it the other way around?

So many questions.

Bible thumping killers ought to know that Christians are mandated to celebrate JC's death and resurrection but not Christmas, a converted pagan feast on a date arbitrarily set as their savior's birthday.

So what does the Bible say about celebrating "manmade" holidays? "But in vain they do worship me, teaching [as] doctrines the commandments of men." (Matt. 15:9) To paraphrase a line from the Farrelly Brothers' Kingpin, I think that means it's against it.

What does the Bible say about destroying countless trees in the name of Christ? No help there. The Bible basically commands humans to rape the earth: almost as if we're supposed to masterfully eradicate our own race along with most others. But that's bullshit. There are probably a few godly environmentalists who could nimbly twist the word of God to say something to the contrary.


Nonetheless, the whole tree-worship thing reeks of idolatry. If you're not sold yet, screw the whole biblical approach.

Christmas Environmentalism

The friendly folks at christmas-tree.com present a list of "facts" as to why it is "environmentally and traditionally wrong to buy and use plastic products to celebrate Christmas." Though in one sense, I couldn't agree more, (buying plastic crap is bad,) I have to suspect that the self-confessed Christmas tree-farmer /authors of said list have not-so-ulterior motives.

Here, in the Point-Counterpoint tradition, are a few seemingly obvious "counterfacts" of my own.

Fact #1 Fake trees and wreaths are made from nonrenewable petroleum. Real Christmas trees and wreaths do not harm our environment and our resources.

DirtyRag Counterfact #1 Though I must concede that the alternative of non-renewable synthetic trees presents a solution likewise far from environmental bliss, they can last countless generations, and are thus recyclable, resellable and ultimately reusable. If you're so into tradition, why not pass the family tree on to your grandkids?

As for the supposed environmental impact of throwing away millions of trees each year, so deftly negated by the near-logic of fact #1 above, well, a fact is a fact. It must be okay to bury millions of pounds of organic matter under mounds of batteries and diapers and whatnot in our landfills - away from the decomposition-aiding rays of the sun. Out of sight, out of mind.

Fact #2 When a fake tree catches fire, it puts dangerous toxic fumes into the air. A properly cared-for real Christmas tree will not catch fire easily. If and when it does, its fumes will certainly not be as toxic. In addition, one acre of real Christmas trees remove carbon dioxide from the atmosphere and produces enough oxygen for 18 people.

DirtyRag Couterfact #2 For some reason I don't think the emission of noxious fumes is the first thing that comes to mind when people think about burning Christmas trees. The carbon monoxide and fire from real trees kill families and destroy homes just as readily as their bogus brethren. And true enough, fake trees don't provide oxygen - but then again, neither do genuine trees, after they're dead. If you're concerned about the breathability of our air, stop destroying trees in their early adolescence. Surely it stunts their potential.

Fact #3 Fake trees cannot be recycled. When they are disposed of in a sanitary landfill, they will not disintegrate, but will remain there forever, taking up increasingly scarce landfill space. Many cities and states have passed laws prohibiting disposal of real Christmas trees in a landfill. Real trees are thus being used in various helpful ways when disposed of... such as ground-up mulch to replenish the soil, fish habitat and other useful methods.

DirtyRag Counterfact #3 Fake trees can be recycled, both in the contemporary sense and the more traditional reusability model. When people on my street throw their trees to the curb, they'll not live on as replenishing mulch or a friendly fish habitat. (?!?) Instead, they're tossed to the wayside in the landfill. At last count, only a few hundred communities had passed legislation prohibiting tree dumping.

Fact #4 Fake trees are manufactured mainly outside of the United States. Thousands of jobs have already been lost in the Christmas tree industry because continued sale and use of fake trees and wreaths continues to be encouraged.

DirtyRag Counterfact #4 Don't get me started on globalism , jingoism, free trade and nationalism. This is a moot point. Many of the products billed as "American made" are in fact constructed from components manufactured in the evil foreign empires. Take a look under the hood of your "American" car. Better yet, look at info on your household electronics. What do you see?

As for the lost jobs, maybe all the former hard working American tree-choppers went out and got slightly more enviro-friendly jobs instead. We can only hope.

Christians of the world, this holiday season consider sending e-greetingcards and buying reusable synthetic trees - or better yet, skip the tree. If you're stuck on tradition, consider starting a new one.