Do it for
the children, do it for America. |
I recently attended
a televangelist convention in Las Vegas. I knew the city had a reputation
for debauchery, and I thought I had prepared myself. Nothing, however,
could have prepared me for what I was going to see. The gambling
and liquor were both disgusting, but I was most shocked by the LEGAL
prostitution that is rampant in the state of Nevada. As a Christian
concerned with women's issues, I have decided that I must speak
out on this matter.
My faith in humanity
was wounded in Sin City, but
it heals as I push forward in a quest to rid the world of the so-called
"oldest profession". Many people disapprove of prostitution, but
before now no one has managed to come up with a viable method for
ridding the world of this blight. I am known for my creative solutions
to the world's problems, and my solution for this problem will be
no different.
To end prostitution
we must first understand prostitution, as well as the whores themselves.
The first thing we must understand is what it is that makes a bitch
become a ho. Although there are many factors involved, for the purpose
of this essay, I will only address the major causes. Laziness, molestation,
a general lack of employable skills, and financial strife are the
ingredients that make up a hooker.
Laziness is the
first link in a chain of factors that can push a woman into ill
repute. Women are mostly lazy, and they detest anything resembling
9 to 5 employment. They usually learn this by observing the behavior
of their mothers, who lay around the house all day getting fat,
and practicing fellatio on sugarcoated sticks of butter. A little
girl often wants to imitate the behavior of their mother, so they
too become lazy.
Eventually the
day comes when a little girl realizes that polishing daddy's knob
is the only reason mommy doesn't have to work. This usually leads
to little girls propositioning their fathers, attempting to gain
toys and candy in exchange for sexual favors. Men are generally
noble creatures, and as such they find the idea of sexual relations
with a child revolting. Alas men are carnal creatures, and after
several offers, during a drunken stupor a man will often slip up
and agree to their daughter's proposition.
Please do not
misunderstand these proclamations; the act of a man engaging in
sexual relations with their own child is unquestionably morally
reprehensible. However, it is mostly because of laziness in women
that this ungodly act occurs, and molestation is the first step
towards a life filled with mouth herpes and genital warts. When
a father gives in to his daughter's advances it promotes her materialism,
and allows her to maintain the belief that she can substitute sex
for work.
This belief leads
to the next factor on my list, a lack of employable skills. A girl
who learns that she can get anything she wants, simply by opening
one of her various orifices, never bothers to learn any of the real
world job skills that she will need to survive once her skin starts
sagging. As a woman ages the street value for a shot at her kooter
goes down, however the extreme laziness they have been instilled
with prevents them from seeking further education or vocational
training.
This leads to
the final ingredient on my list, financial strife. This factor is
responsible for keeping prostitutes in the game than for actually
causing it. Moreover, as a woman's financial situation worsens she
often begins to invent new and more perverse sins for which she
can charge higher rates. As these women are not very intelligent,
they are often forced to go to a pimp who will teach them increasingly
heinous sins.
The pimps teach
the whores how find and utilize their unique attributes. One girl
I interviewed had a glass eye, and her pimp had taught her how to
satisfy a man with the empty socket. Another was very ticklish,
and for a few extra dollars a john was allowed to tickle her as
he finished copulation with her mouth, thus the girl would laugh
and milk would come out of her nose. I only describe these experiences
to illustrate the level of depravity our society has reached, and
to enforce the necessity of an end to this profession.
As I have outlined
above, laziness is the main link in this chain of degradation. Since
women learn laziness from a never-ending cycle involving their mothers,
there is no viable method of stopping it directly. The reason women
choose prostitution over traditional work is because they enjoy
sex, and therefore do not see it as work. So the only logical way
to prevent women from becoming prostitutes is to prevent them from
enjoying it. This can be accomplished by means of female castration.
It is a medical
fact that removing the clitoris of a woman prevents her from feeling
sexual pleasure. I propose that upon the third conviction of prostitution,
all hookers will be taken to the nearest state hospital to have
their clitoris removed. Once this is done the women will no longer
feel pleasure from being a prostitute, and will finally find the
motivation to learn a legitimate skill.
Many cultures
throughout the world have used Female Genital Mutilation (FGM) to
tame the dubious nature of women. It is time that the United States
joins the rest of the world, and harness the power of this simple
medical procedure to end the horrifically sinful practice of prostitution
in our great country. |