dirty rag

Humor - Rant/ReRant - John Gill

As I watched Superbowl XXXVIII and saw ads for Terminator 3, Badboys 2, Return of Charlie's Angels, and Son of the Matrix, I wondered how far this sequel thing can go. Hell even the Whitehouse is running the second installment of "Bush vs. Hussein."

I heard in this one George Bush jumps over a shark tank with a jet ski.

Where are the new ideas?

Can't wait for Batman 15! Oooh boy!

Mad Max and Rocky are back. Both Sylvester Stallone and Mel Gibson are reprising the roles that made them famous. Rocky VI will feature many familiar elements with a contemporary twist. Running up the steps of the Philadelphia Museum of Art will be replaced by an escalator ride and instead of fighting Mr. T, he's fighting Mr. Burns from the Simpsons. (Is it me or do Burn and Smithers look a lot like Strom Thurmond and Trent Lott?)

The lesser talented Stallone, brother Frank who recorded "Eye of the Tiger" for Rocky III will also be part of this aging franchise by singing the new title track, "Bladder of the Goose."

Maybe Rockbo Stallone is just in it for the money, but what's with Mel Gibson? I hope this Madder Max film doesn't prevent him from releasing Lethal Weapon 14 in time for the summer.

Other aging stars can reprise their roles too! Clint Eastwood can update the Dirty Harry series with the film, Soiled Harry and Charleton Heston can redo The 10 Commandments. This time he'll cover more than just the 10 commandments, incorporating information about the 4th amendment, the right for "god fearing" folks to carry a gun to kill eachother.

I'm sure the changes would help the story move along. The old version was over 3 hours long, but when you say, "let my people go" while carrying a 357 magnum, people get going.

Paul Newman, who already won an academy award for reprising the role of Fast Eddie in the film The Color of Money, could do a second reprisal with The Color of my Stool Sample. Christopher Reeve could do an update to Superman. . . called Supertram. Or is that a bit over the top?